Army Wives

I got asked the question today.....Are you Army Wives like the girls on the show? Now people ask me this with a certain tone in their voice....almost like they are not sure if its OK to ask such a thing. I am a proud Army Wife but living away from a post is so different. What are the chances of someone asking you that in Ft. Stewart or Ft. Bragg...the answer is slim to none. However here in the burbs of Chi town its fair game as an Active Duty soldier is rare. People will come up to you and give you a hug or just shake a soldiers hand to say thank you. It's a nice change because you see that people do appreciate the military. But back to the question at hand. I am sure that many people have different opinions on this but I will share mine as candidly as I can. First by posing another question...Do you thing the surgeons on Grey's Anatomy reflect the real doctors in a major hospital? The answer is no. Not all of us cheat and have so much drama going on. Yes there are the ones that do but that is a fact in military and civilian life. It's a life you cant begin to understand unless you have lived it. There is a big difference between your husband going on a business trip and your husband boarding a plane with a rucksack on his back and a gun slung on his shoulder. Can you really project on a TV screen the emotions you feel as you watch the one you love disappear into a plane or bus.....knowing darn well that that may be the very last time you will ever see them. I remember Donte's last deployment to IRAQ....You hold onto every second like its forever, you take pictures and videos, I remember closing my eyes as he gave me my last hug goodbye and trying to etch the smell, the feeling into my brain......just in case. I remember holding the tears back to be strong for my boys to assure them that Daddy knows what he is doing and he will come back to us. I also remember looking him dead in the eyes and telling him "if its you or them you KILL them before they can harm you!" I remember the first night of the many to come when sleep was hard to find. I remember us going home and calling Kimmie. Then like a net they are there my fellow Army and Air Force wives. We have many different backgrounds but no matter what the background when the bonds are formed they are there and they are stronger than most could imagine. It's like your family away from home. They know your ups and downs and how to help. They know when to back off and when to push. Donte was gone when I was involved in a horrible accident. My girlfriends were there. Nikky sat by my bedside until they released me from the hospital and another girlfriend brought her kids and stayed at my house until Donte's flight came in. They held my hand made sure my babies were OK and that I wouldn't have any additional stress. I made it through with the support of my family and my friends. The Army life is not for all but for those of us that love our men we make it the best that we can. Through the moves, the separations and all the trials of military life it's worth it. There is no way that a TV sitcom could ever define what a true Army Wife is. It's easy to see....shes the one that is washing the cars in the driveway, the one that is toting her kids to all the appointments that come up,the one that juggles her job with her home...making sure that her home ALWAYS comes out on top, she is the one that smiles with a deep sadness that is left in her eyes, she is the one that has bags under her eyes because for the last year her other half has been gone and she just tosses and turns at night, shes the one that stays strong for her other girlfriends that are going through the same thing, shes the one that organizes 1001 events to make it through that year with out needing a straight jacket, she is the one that has as much grace as any woman can possibly have and in the same moment be able to put someone in their place if they step out of line and she is the one that starts crying as soon as she sees the wheels of the plane that is carrying her husband touch ground on the flight line. Just don't be so soon to judge her because of what you see on a program, take the time and listen and you will be able to understand what an ARMY WIFE is really all about.