One of my girlfriends had this on her site and wow this letter to the stars and stripes blew me away!! Good for her for bringing a voice to all of us that have been thinking it. She is a Marine spouse but this applies to all services!!!!
Give spouses more credit
Ugh, if I read one more letter belittling military spouses, I’m going to scream.
I’m so sick of hearing that caveman mentality quote of “If the Corps wanted you to have a wife/family, they would have issued you one.” What a slap in the face to those of us who have supported our loved one’s career, have dealt with numerous moves, even more deployments, raised our children alone and still manage to love the service our spouse serves. I’m not complaining, because this is what I chose — but no matter our choice, we still deserve respect.
I’ve been a military dependent almost my entire life, so that means two things: I knew exactly what I was getting into and I have earned the right to enlighten you ignorant folks about the life of a military spouse. So for those of you who don’t know, the wives don’t turn into Polly Pornstar when our husbands deploy, nor do we have a secret calendar counting down to Year 10 and Day 1 of their time in the Corps just so we can be entitled to half of their retirement. Usually we turn into supermom and are using the calendar for useful things, such as remembering which kid has an upcoming doctor’s appointment.
So the next time one of you single Marines starts to grumble about “those damn wives” who are on the gym treadmill or are whining about another holiday duty (and, for the record, married Marines pull Christmas duty too), remember that we feel the same way. Like when the base is locked down and a curfew is issued because a Marine assaulted or vandalized another Okinawan or their property while on a drunken spree. Or one of you messed up and the whole office is kept after hours.
We open our homes to you on holidays, offer you rides, sometimes even a place to sleep, and I’ve fed so many of you I should start accepting meal cards.
So when you return from deployment and find a goody bag containing cookies and phone cards, then climb into a bed with fresh sheets, remember to thank a spouse. Because while she was raising her children, running her house and worrying about her deployed husband, she still found time to think of you.
Was I issued? No, but I should have been. Spouses like me are the single greatest “pieces of gear” a Marine will ever have.
Erin M. Pacheco
Okinawa
